Ode to Motherhood

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Ode to Motherhood

Today is a universal Mother’s Day, a day where people are reminded of the unselfish and often unappreciated deeds of their mothers. Many celebrate the day by spending it with their mother, showing their appreciation and love for the woman who has been caring for them since the day they were born. In that respect time is of no importance. A mother’s instinct to love and care for her children has nothing to do with age. The job of being a mother is for life.

I have a close relationship with my mother. She’s been my greatest protector as long as I can remember, as fierce as a lioness when it comes to defending me against the bad and the ugly of the world. As a child, my mom was the most beautiful person on earth. I adored her.  Yet, growing up, I guess I was more of a daddy’s girl. It was not until after my teenage years, and especially after I took wings and flew out of the nest, that my mother and I truly became as close as we are today. She is simultaneously my biggest fan and my safe haven, my source of comfort and encouragement when I need it the most. Yet, I did not truly learn how to appreciate my mother until I had become a mother myself and realized just how much she’d done for me; all the hours of caring for me when I could not care for myself, all the sacrifices she’d made for my benefit. It was not until I had become a mother myself that I truly understood what it is to love someone with every cell in your body, unconditionally, and that your own needs and longings become second to those of the life you’ve created. It is a feeling impossible to describe for someone who has not been in those steps.

Today, I am a mother of two special needs kids, two amazing boys who are both diagnosed with autism. It is not always an easy task. I guess, being a mother never is. Yet, I feel incredibly lucky to have my beautiful boys. They might be challenged with limitations most other kids do not have to deal with, and develop differently than a typically developing child, and yet I wouldn’t want my boys to be any different than they are. They are my boys and I love them not only for who they are but because of who they are. They are both incredibly loving and affectionate in their own different ways and show me their love every single day. Yet, I am not saying that it’s it isn’t challenging. Of course it is! Sometimes, I am so desperately tired, so exhausted by their constant need for care and support, so crushed by the unfairness of it all, that I just want to give up, lay down wherever I am and cry my eyes out. …But most of the time, I am quite happy with my lot in life, thankful for my very supportive friends and family, appreciative for the love and strength my husband gives me, and last but not least, so very very proud to be my sons’ mother. They’ve made me a better person and filled my life with the purest kind of love. If that isn’t what motherhood should be all about, I don’t know what should be.

V and I

V and I

JA and I

JA and I

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