Those of you who’ve been following my blog for a while probably know about the extensive sleeping problems of our V and how they’ve been affecting the family. As explicitly explained in my post Autism Sleeping Problems, my husband and I have practically not had a night off together in months since one of us has been stuck in the bedroom, trying to get the little gorilla boy to sleep – without much luck! It wasn’t unusual that he was still awake at 11 pm after more than three hours of “Lie down!”, “Stop playing and go to bed… now!”, “Stop standing on your head!” (see video below), and “Honey, will you just please fall asleep now! PLEASE!!!”. It has been a nightmare!
According to all the exclamation marks in the previous paragraph you can imagine how big of a problem this is for us. As described in my post This Too Shall Pass, I’ve sometimes been brought to tears due to this problem and felt utterly hopeless of it ever to stop. It also brought out even darker thoughts, bringing you down to your lowest points. I was even starting to resent my little precious for being so difficult even though I knew very well that it wasn’t his fault which only made me feel even worse, loathing myself for thinking this way, having guilty feelings consume me. And for my little V, of course he was getting the worst of it, always feeling tired poor thing, very jumpy and easily irritated. Tantrums were a regular thing and he was becoming increasingly violent, both at home and in the kindergarten.
But no longer my friends – no more. At last, we met up with a child psychiatrist (apparently the only doctor allowed to prescribe melatonin for children in Denmark) after waiting for weeks and weeks and after telling her about our struggles regarding V’s sleeping problems and all the measures we’ve taken, practically trying everything from super-nanny sleeping methods to soothing bath oils and camomile tea before sleep, she agreed to try him on melatonin. However, since he is still so young (according to her, the youngest child she knows of ever to be prescribed for melatonin in Denmark!) she didn’t want him to get the lowest amount of melatonin sold in pharmacies (3mg) but an even lower dose of 1 mg. This meant that the pharmacy had to manually make it and thus, it became much more expensive. But we couldn’t care less – this is literally a life-saver!
The first night we tried it was rather rememberable. We were moderately optimistic, almost afraid to hope that it would work, and therefore, tried to keep our expectations down. We gave him the melatonin half an hour before he was to go to bed and then came the normal “go-to-bed” routine. I went in with him and laid down next to him. Amazingly, he was asleep 20 minutes later! As in 20 minutes!!! I couldn’t believe what had just happened and carefully snuck out of bed and opened the door with the utmost care, extremely afraid to wake him up and ruin it all. As I came out my husband wordlessly stood up with his computer, preparing to take over as so often happened if the one who was on “put-to-sleep” duty lost patience and asked the other one to take over. When I stopped him and said with much amusement that the boys were both asleep – both of them – he put on the most priceless expression I’ve ever seen. When we got over the biggest shock came another problem … the biggest luxury problem that ever existed. We had no clue what to do with ourselves. Suddenly we had several hours of leisure time, time that we could actually spend together doing something fun and we were so unused to this reality that we actually had to think up things to do that we both wanted. In short, I got my husband back! :)
My husband and I
Ever since that first night, the melatonin has not failed once. V is asleep within an hour of being given the melatonin and is finally getting the nights sleep he so long has needed. He no longer needs to sleep during the day to make up for lost sleep, although he sometimes falls asleep after extra long and/or sunny days, which is totally fine to us because now we know that he will fall asleep around the same time every night. And since he no longer sleeps during the day he is also starting to sleep longer, sometimes not waking up until 7:30 am which is like sleeping in for us! But the most important change of all is not our newfound quality time as a husband and wife in the evenings or the fact that V is finally getting sufficient sleep, but the fact that he is finally able to show his true happy self. I’m telling you, he is like 10 times happier than he was, smiling and laughing and smiling and laughing like never before! Sure, he still has his meltdowns and mood swings but that’s part of who he is. Moreover, his meltdowns are happening much less frequently and he is generally as happy as I’ve ever seen him and it’s the most wonderful thing to witness as a parent.
My Happy Little Boy
Given this new and major change in V’s – and the rest of the family’s – life, it should come as no surprise that melatonin is my new best friend. It has given me back my quality time with my amazing husband and provided V with sufficient rest affecting him in the most positive and joyful way. I’m truly thrilled. So for those of you who have autistic children that have sleeping problems, at least if the problems revolve around falling asleep (it’s supposed to work better in those cases than for children that are constantly waking up during the night), you should definitely consult with your doctor and try melatonin to see if it works. It can change your life to the better!
Finally, here is a video of V from since he was 20 months old that I’ve put on my YouTube channel (feel free to subscribe), that demonstrates his restlessness when supposed to be falling asleep. Also explains why we often call him our little gorilla or monkey boy ;)
Thanks for reading. As always, commenting and sharing is more than welcomed. -Ragga
Haha ég fór að flissa þegar ég horfði á þetta video, meiri kjáninn. Hlakka mikið til að sjá hin (og auðvitað ykkur líka :) )
Já haha, þetta var alveg kostulegt hvernig hann gat verið… og ekkert í neitt lítið langan tíma heldur!
Gott að það er fundin lausn á svefnvandanum! Nú getið þið hjónin farið að einbeita ykkur að lokaverkefnunum úthvíld!! :)
Nákvæmlega! ;)
Gleymdi að senda öllum knús!! Knús á ykkur öll og gangi ykkur vel!! :)
haha takk og sömuleiðis Hulda mín!
Ragga,
I am so happy for you and your family! Melatonin was definitely our best friend as well. Glad it is working so well for V.
Diane
Thank you Diane. I am completely thrilled! I was a little worried that it would not work but that was completely unnecessary. It is unbelievable the difference this makes for us all. We’re just all in better moods as none of us is sleep deprived anymore. Truly amazing.
Frábært að heyra að svefnvandamálum V er lokið og eðlilegt líf hafið:) Hann er náttúrulega bara snillingur, þetta er ekki auðvelt að snúa sér á hvolf;) Hann kemur seinna meir með ömmu
sinni í jóga… Bestu kveðjur og knús í hús:)
Helga, þessi drengur á eftir að verða jóg-inn! ;) Þið verðið góð saman…
Ég fékk bara tár í augun af ánægju, það er svo sjúklega mikilvægt að börnin séu úthvíld og þessi hvíldartími foreldra er það sem heldur geðheilsunni. Til hamingju með að hafa endurheimt hvíldartími fjölskyldunnar!!
Takk Bjarney Inga! Trúðu mér, hef sjálf tárast yfir þessum dásamlega nýja veruleika! hahaha :)
I use melatonin myself and it really helps me sleep. That and CD audiobooks (although I think V is too young for those! ;-) ).
Glad you’ve finally found something that works; poor little guy being so exhausted all the time! And his poor parents! Hurray for all of you!
A.G.
Hurray indeed! :)
I remember discussing melatonin on Twitter with someone with Aspergers… (don’t think it was you though, was it?) …and it was the same story. Melatonin really helped. Although, then there was mention of extremely vivid dreams. Have you experienced that?
I think that was me — it does give me very vivid dreams sometimes. But overall it’s a much sounder sleep.
What really helps me (and may help V as he gets older) is a bedtime routine — I’m very strict about it and it does help me sleep better. I’m almost always in bed between 9:30 and 10 pm. I read for a while, then when I’m sleepy it’s “lights out”! :-)
Anyway, congrats on finding something that works. Wow — I loved the part where he was asleep in 20 minutes & you and your hubby didn’t know what to do with all the spare time!
A.G.
It makes me feel a bit better that it does help and that, for you at least, the worst thing that it does is give you vivid dreams. He is still so young, and basically non-verbal, so of course he can’t tell me about it himself. Thanks again.
I am so happy that the Melatonin worked for you! It’s been a godsend for our daughter, Maggie. She’s been using it for a few months now along with a weighted blanket and sound machine and it has made a real difference. I’m glad V is doing well!!
Thank you Amy and likewise, congrats! ;) It makes so much difference when they get a good nights sleep … and it doesn’t hurt that we get our evenings back! ;)
So glad it worked for your son! My son also had similar issues prior to Melatonin. In my opinion it is a miracle drug and also my best friend too!! :)
Kerri, it’s obvious to me after this post (and some discussions on Twitter last night) that Melatonin has probably prevented a lot of frustration (for children and their parents) and likely saved a lot of relationships. Hurray to Melatonin! ;)
Hello. What kind of melatonin are you giving him? Congratulations on your and his sleep! I’ve had the same problem with one 7 years old when he is getting sick. I found a page with all kinds of versions of melatonin. http://www.vitamarket.net/en/search/results.html?keywords=melatonin
Well, it’s not any particular type as the psychiatrist wanted to give him only 1 mg which is not possible to buy ready made. Thus, the pharmacy had to manually mix it so it actually looks like any other medicine that you get on a bottle, only labeled with the instructions of how to use it.
However I know someone who has used both this type: http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51EgeKn-G5L._SL500_AA300_.jpg and also this type: http://www.natrol.com/images/Products/16068.jpg with good results and no side effects.
We have had good results with melatonin. It helps my now grown daughter get to sleep which was a huge problem. Congratulations!
Thank you Mylinda and wife versa ;)
haha auto correct playing its tricks on me! Of course it was supposed to be “vice versa” instead of “wife versa” :)
Sæl Ragga,
það er virkilega gefandi að lesa bloggið hjá þér. Ég á bróður sem er á einhverfu-rófinu svo ég kannast við margt sem þú skrifar um.
Ég var að hlusta á Public Radio í Seattle þar sem ég bý og þar var verið að tala við Anat Baniel sem hefur gefið út bókina “Kids Beyond Limits: Breakthrough Results for Children with Autism, Asperger’s, Brain Damage, ADHD, and Undiagnosed Developmental Delays”
Ég náði bara að hlusta í 10 mínútur af þættinum en fannst margt sem hún talaði um áhugavert. og vegna þess að ég kíkti inná bloggið þitt fyrr í dag þá datt mér í hug að deila þessu með þér. Kannski gagnast þér þetta eitthvað, hver veit.
Hér er hægt að hlusta á þáttinn:
http://www.newdimensions.org/miraculous-help-for-special-needs-children-with-anat-baniel/
Bestu kveðjur,
Áslaug
Bestu þakkir fyrir þetta Áslaug – mun kíkja á þetta ;)
This sounds just like us a few months ago. My little girl always slept well at night from around 3 weeks old until October last year just one night stopped sleeping, we were lucky to get an hour a night most nights and with both of us working and another child we were a zombie family. meletonin worked from day one for her after 8 months of no sleep she doesn’t even need it every night now!! Xxx
That is so nice to hear Holly – thank you for sharing this. I am also hoping that my V won’t need the melatonin at some point and we are planning to try not to give it to him in a few months just to see. If it won’t work then of course we go back to Melatonin routine but what a life-changer huh! ;)
xx Ragga