There is nothing more exciting than summer vacation. For months you see it as a mirage, the light at the end of the tunnel, the reward for your hard work during the long dark winter – and you can’t wait for it to come. As it gets closer, you start counting the weeks, the days, the minutes, while dreaming about how you are going to lay in the sun, enjoy some piece and quite and just relax. Ah… relax! How amazing it will be. And then, at last, the first day of summer vacation is upon you. At last, some piece and quiet. And then your kids jump onto the bed.
Oh, you’re hungry? Of course, I’ll make something for you. You want to go outside? Sure, let’s do that. Ah… what a lovely weather… wait, don’t run away! DON’T RUN AWAY!!! Wow, I’m clearly out of shape, a 100 meter sprint to prevent my kid from running in front of a car and I’m beat! What! You need a new diaper? Again! Oh well then, let’s change it. Amazing how bowel movements of the kids seem to increase while on holiday. Wow, is it already time for eating again?!
You’re getting my point here, right? While summer vacation with the family is lovely and refreshing and a much needed change from the everyday life – it’s also packed with activities and chores. A summer vacation with kids provides a wonderful opportunity to spend a lot of quality time together – but it’s also a time filled with action, commotion and tasks that need to be attended to. It’s not easy. It is definitely not easier if the kids have some sort of disability, such as autism. Either way, a summer vacation with kids (especially if they are young and/or disabled) does not leave much room for relaxation. It’s hard work. Really hard. Oh and did I mention that it was hard? :)
It is not uncommon that at the end of the summer vacation, you can’t wait to get back into the normal routines, to take the kids to kindergarten, to go to work, enjoy interacting with other people on a professional level, picking up the kids at the end of the day, eating dinner, putting the kids to sleep, having the night off to do whatever you please. Yes… as dull and homogenous as the normal routine can seem, it’s also comforting.
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This has not been the best summer in terms of weather here in Denmark. They’re calling it the coldest summer in years – that is until last weekend. The weather has been amazing in the past week. It’s been really hot and sunny – with high levels of humidity – and naturally, everyone is loving it. People are rushing outside, to the beach, ripping their clothes of in an attempt to consume as much vitamin D as humanly possible. Except for me. I’ve been stuck inside, sweaty and sticky, longing to be outside. The not so great weather suited me perfectly but I guess, that’s what I get for writing my master thesis during the summertime.
Studying during summer. Thank God for the fan!
Since my husband is also working on his thesis, we have not been able to take any summer vacation. Fortunately, it was possible to keep the boys in the kindergarten during the main weeks of summer vacations but instead, the preschool teachers encouraged us to give the boys time off after we are done with the papers. In my case, that is in approximately two weeks and for the last couple of weeks, I’ve been working around the clock in order to finish before that deadline. Since my husband is not scheduled to hand his paper in as early as I am, he has been taking care of the boys, providing me the opportunity to really focus on the thesis. This means that when I will finally be done, we will be swapping roles and he will be in 100% study priority. Coincidentally, that is also the only time it will be possible to take the boys on summer vacation before we have to start preparing for the move back to Iceland.
So… this means that summer vacation is going to be me and the boys – enjoying life together. I’m looking forward to it quite a lot. Obviously, I can’t wait to be finished with my thesis. Just having that burden of my shoulders is going to be a great relief. And I’ve been seeing so little of my boys lately that I can’t wait to have all the time in the world to hug them, kiss them, cuddle with them, read with them, play with them, go on trips with them, go to the beach with them, indulge in an ice-cream or two with them. Ah… it’s going to be amazing. But… I’m also dreading it. A lot. I know that at the end of each day I am going to be exhausted. And I really really feel that I need some time off to just… relax. And I’m sure that when the vacation is over, I’m going to feel relieved and regretful at the same time. I guess it’s the paradox of summer vacation.
Do you relate or is it just me? Please share your thoughts by commenting below.
My little V enjoying the lovely weather in his little swimming pool
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For us, the long summer holidays are simply a difference prompt for a meltdown :/
How is it where you’re at, do the schools close during summer or is there a program for the kids during summer time as well?
After talking about this with a few other parents of special needs kids, this seems to be a common denominator. The summer vacations are a bad bad time… for the parents, sure, but mainly for the kids. Many of them can’t handle the lack of structure. So, if it was an option to keep the kids in school during summer and rather than taking a long vacation, it would be possible to perhaps take long weekends or a day or two every now and then.
I don’t know, I’m just speculating…
Must admit I count down to them with dread. I book the holiday house knowing I have to take half of my house with me to make it tolerable to my 11 yr old asd son and of course his 5 yr old brother’s stuff too so he can be the same as his idol. We need 2 cars just to go there for one week, partly to take all familiar items and foods but also to have the boys in separate cars for sanity’s sake on the long drive. My husband and I frequently as ourselves why? The boys love it that’s why. Although it really does seem we just uproot the same stress, meltdowns and chaos and add a few more problems. Here in Scotland the school holidays run from the last week in June to mid August and the weather has been pretty awful. As relieved as I was to get home I can’t honestly say I’m finding home fun either. I’m lucky to have the support of an excellent additional needs playsceme 2 days a week for 5 weeks out of the 7 but I still struggle. I’d love to enjoy time with my boys but behaviour problems, the age difference (although emotionally I’d say they were about equal), the safety issues and Luke’s size mean I always need another adult with me to go anywhere. Where’s the carefree fun we hear about during summer days??? I feel I spend all my time stressed out, shouting and fighting a tension headache. Then the guilt kicks in that I can’t seem to enjoy our time together and look forward to the schools going back…..
Can I ask what your thesis is on Ragga?
First of all, DON’T feel guilty! I am pretty sure you are not the first nor the last to wait anxiously for school to start again. The only thing we can do is to try as much as possible to enjoy the good times and do whatever we can to prevent situations that are likely to cause meltdowns. And when it’s hard, I guess we can only try to think about the good days and remind ourselves that they are there as well. So again, don’t feel guilty – we have enough to deal with besides guilt!
…not that I’m any better though… I’m always guilty! (see my previous blog post called “Why DO I Always Feel So Guilty?”). But I’m working on it and I’m trying really hard not to allow myself to sink into that mood, it’s so poisonous. Instead, I try to focus on the fact that I love my boys, they can be a challenge and I sometimes raise my voice a little too much and a little too often, but I am doing the best I can for them AND for myself.
And that’s an important point as well. Because we have to remember to take care of ourselves. And that can mean that we need time on our own, or that we decide that we don’t care if the house is a mess, or that we don’t stress ourselves of going outside to play, or to the park, or to a birthday party that we know is going to bring forth a meltdown. We need to keep the structure and keep the piece for our kids, as well as our own, sake. So it’s okay that we sometimes give in and allow our kids to watch TV, or play on the iPad. Sometimes we need a moments break as well. And all this is done, not because we are not fit in our role as parents but on the contrary, we have been given a task that is not always easy and craves a lot of our energy, and we’re just trying to make the best out of it for everybody.
Wow, this reply is becoming pretty long… sorry for that. Regarding my thesis it’s a research on organizations and how they can overcome internal, complex problems and achieve organizational change. I’m writing with a wonderful thesis partner and we base our findings on a case study of a large, bureaucratic, public organization in Denmark.
Many thanks my dearest Ragga. You know it goes both ways – I am consider myself so fortunate to have you as my thesis partner! Hold on for two more weeks, we are getting there :)!
:)
Dear Ragga. I think we women feel guilty from day one, why I don’t know. Enjoy your vacation with your boys as much as you can and put the guilt feeling on vacation far away from you. Looking forward getting you guys home this autum. Hugs and kisses from us all ;)
Aw Bjadda, just saw your comment now. Thanks… it’s been good and I’ve slowly come back from the zombie land of tiredness. Will be posting soon.
P.S. One month exactly until Niceland! ;)
Have you ever thought about adding a little bit
more than just your articles? I mean, what you say is
important and everything. Nevertheless think about if you added some great graphics or video clips to give your posts more, “pop”!
Your content is excellent but with images and videos, this website could certainly be one
of the greatest in its field. Superb blog!
Thank you :)
And yes, I would love to do many things. Hopefully, I will have the time to realize my ideas but for now, I’ve barely been able to blog, let alone do more. But good point, and thanks for the kind words – it’s certainly a boost :)
I hope I will be able to do more as things slow down a bit in my super busy life of late! ;)
xx Ragga