Today’s post is a simple ode to my beautiful, kind, cheerful, loud, computer sick, autistic, persevering, wonderful boy with his easy smile, who turns six today.
He still does, and always has, melted people with his bright blue eyes, shrill voice, and beautiful smile and it can sometimes be pure pleasure to witness his special and genuine view of life.
As I said in my last post: “There Is No Place Like Home“, we’ve moved back to Iceland at last. And although we do miss some dear people we met, we haven’t regretted the decision for a single second. This was absolutely the right thing to do. However, it’s been crazy crazy busy. And not just since we got back but also for a very long time before that. So very busy that there is this feeling of exhaustion hanging over me, not quite taking over but still lingering, threatening to do so if I’m not careful. And it’s my fault really, because I was optimistic enough to really think I could do it all. Well, I guess I overestimated my abilities!
There is nothing more exciting than summer vacation. For months you see it as a mirage, the light at the end of the tunnel, the reward for your hard work during the long dark winter – and you can’t wait for it to come. As it gets closer, you start counting the weeks, the days, the minutes, while dreaming about how you are going to lay in the sun, enjoy some piece and quite and just relax. Ah… relax! How amazing it will be. And then, at last, the first day of summer vacation is upon you. At last, some piece and quiet. And then your kids jump onto the bed.
Today is a universal Mother’s Day, a day where people are reminded of the unselfish and often unappreciated deeds of their mothers. Many celebrate the day by spending it with their mother, showing their appreciation and love for the woman who has been caring for them since the day they were born. In that respect time is of no importance. A mother’s instinct to love and care for her children has nothing to do with age. The job of being a mother is for life.
Great news! We have officially been offered (and accepted) a spot for both boys in a kindergarten in Iceland that has excellent reputation for doing an outstanding job with autistic kids. And apparently, it is not just the reputation that is good since my husband, who is currently in Iceland, visited the kindergarten today and was tremendously impressed. Moreover, we have secured a place to live as well… in walking distance from the kindergarten. I am almost giddy with joy and relief!
As my post Moving Back to Iceland states, we are returning to the land of ice and fire after two eventful years in Copenhagen, Denmark. As such, we found it fitting that I made a trip to Iceland to look at preschools and schools in search for the best services for our boys. So, I’ve been in Iceland the past few days (the reason why it has been oh so quiet in here) scanning the system. The goal was to find a neighborhood that has a good preschool AND elementary school that BOTH offer excellent services for autistic children. But the big question here was: How do I define the best school? What should I be looking for? How do I choose?
There are things I have difficulty thinking about without feeling the gloomy feelings sneaking up on me. These are storm clouds of thoughts, constantly threatening to engulf the sunlight and every day I have to fight a few little battles as not to let them take over my mind and soul. My defense is mainly built from thought prevention, meaning that I usually do not allow myself to go there. And if I do, I do everything in my power to force myself to stop and pull back. I have decided to share these darkest of thoughts with you in this post, mainly for the purpose of telling others that might relate, that they are not alone in feeling this way.
Almost a year ago, we heard the mention of autism in relation to our older son for the first time. It was merely one word in a long recitation of plausible things that a diagnosis process could lead to and out of those, autism was not at the top of our minds. It was also the first time since we moved to Denmark that our request for some extra support at the kindergarten was received positively. Soon after, an application for support was finalized and a few months later we got the news that JA had been granted 8 hours of support per week starting in August 2011. Although we had hoped for more support (the maximum support possible consists of 16 hours per week) we were glad that he would finally get some support. And what a difference it made!
